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How To Get On Google Front Page – Guaranteed!

July 2nd, 2007 · 99 Comments

Are the Search Engine Optimizers selling you snake oil?

I know I’m going to piss off a lot of SEOs by giving this away for free but I think it’s high time that this information was made public domain.

For too long, the snake oil salesmen have charged thousands of dollars for this kind of stuff but that’s all about to change. I’m about to reveal a trade secret to you that will move your mid ranking page 9 site onto the front page of Google – guaranteed!

  • No bluff
  • No bluster
  • No bullshit

A page one Google result or your money back!

The first thing you need to do is open up Google and then search for your site using your chosen keyword. This method will only guarantee you front page Google results if your site is currently listed in the first ten pages of search results. If your site ranks outside of the first ten pages of SERPs than I can only guarantee a 90% improvement on your Google results.

OK so now that you’ve got your Google results open and can see that your site is currently listed on page 9, here’s the clever bit. The bit where the SEO experts will charge you thousands of dollars and that I’m giving you for free.

A front page listing on Google!

The next thing you need to do is click on the option marked Preferences on your Google page.

Get on the front page of Google with this 4 step plan

Now that you’ve go this page open, here comes the most important part. The bit that will give you the highly coveted Google front page result so make sure you pay attention to this bit. It might help printing this page out and reading it again just in case you miss out on the pertinent points.

Get on the front page of Google with this 4 step plan

Scroll down the Personalised page until you reach the part where it says Number of Results. Here’s the clever part! Click on the drop down selection and change your results from the default 10 to 100.

Get on the front page of Google with this 4 step plan

Once you’ve done that, click on the Save Preferences option.

Get on the front page of Google with this 4 step plan

Now go back into Google and search for your keyword that was previously ranked on page 9 and what do you see?

A front page result on Google!

Forget those SEO sharks and charlatans, you can get onto the front page of Google for free by just following these simple steps.

Good luck with your ventures and I look forward to seeing you on Google really soon :D

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Tags: Search Marketing

99 responses so far ↓

  • Miles Burke // Jul 3, 2007 at 4:08 am

    Haha, like it. Where do I send my money for this tip? :)

  • Mike // Jul 3, 2007 at 11:22 am

    Hmmm…maybe I should install the Buy-Me-A-Beer plugin after all!

    Thanks for stopping by, Miles. I look forward to seeing the new Web 2.0 colour palette when it’s done :D

  • Darryl // Jul 3, 2007 at 11:22 pm

    Now that’s just plain wrong.

    LMAO

  • Chris // Jul 4, 2007 at 7:25 pm

    Genius tip!

    Where do I send my money?

    Can I pay you to turn nofollow off my comments?

    Oh wait, you’re not John Chow after all… ;-)

  • Mike // Jul 4, 2007 at 8:59 pm

    Darryl – Yes but it feels sooooo good!

    Hehehe Chris. DoFollow is free. Just like my tip to get on the front page of Google ;)

  • Bryan Eisenberg // Jul 5, 2007 at 10:13 am

    That was wonderful for an early morning laugh. You do know what SEO stands for right? Search Engine Optimists http://www.clickz.com/showPage.html?page=2228031

  • Mike // Jul 5, 2007 at 12:12 pm

    Search Engine Optimists? I like it, Bryan :D

  • yebot // Jul 5, 2007 at 2:10 pm

    funny.

  • Maki // Jul 5, 2007 at 2:26 pm

    Hilarious. Thanks for the tip, Mike :)

  • Mike // Jul 5, 2007 at 3:13 pm

    Nice of you to drop by, Maki :) How’s things going with the Megite site?

  • Mislove // Jul 5, 2007 at 7:48 pm

    YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

    j/k

    I loved it!

  • Otto // Jul 6, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    This was quite funny! Fooled me, then pissed me off… but i get it.

  • Mike // Jul 6, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    Otto – No need to add the URL signature, my friend. You’re already getting some link love :)

  • Otto // Jul 6, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    Your my HERO!

  • Blog bloke // Jul 7, 2007 at 11:39 pm

    April fools in July ;-)

  • Matt Ellsworth // Jul 23, 2007 at 6:40 pm

    thats just funny – nice trick though!

  • McBilly // Oct 26, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    Hahahaha! Darn! I thougth I was on to something! But hilarious nonetheless! :mrgreen:

  • aiQUANT // Nov 6, 2007 at 7:09 pm

    you wasted 2 precious minutes of my life… i will not buy you beer.

  • Mike // Nov 6, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Oh go on…you know it’s worth it… :D

  • Andy Bolton // Nov 13, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Brilliant !!!

    i’d buy you a pint !!!

  • Dan // Nov 13, 2007 at 2:01 pm

    very funny

  • pozowebs // Dec 4, 2007 at 2:28 am

    Very good! Thanks for the tip :) :)

  • rob // Dec 20, 2007 at 9:50 am

    Ho Ho Ho – tis the season to be jolly :D

  • JC // Dec 21, 2007 at 4:09 pm

    Even a more guaranteed way is to make that change and do a google blog search… I have mine set to 50 though. 100 seems a bit much.

  • Greg // Dec 24, 2007 at 10:52 am

    Amazing! :P

  • AskApache // Jan 6, 2008 at 10:25 am

    Until I got half-way through this entertaining post I thought you could be talking about a very real SEO technique that consistently places pages on the AskApache blog in the top 10.

    Search google for any of the following: wordpress 404
    or: google 404
    or: google seo plugin

    Its simply a way to query all the google indexes for your site+keywords whenever someone lands on your 404 page.

    Check out the dramatic difference this plugin makes for the following mis-typed urls. The first link is on your site, the 2nd is on mine.

    how-to-get-on-google-front-page-guaranteed-super-tree
    how-to-get-on-google-front-page-guaranteed-super-tree

    The plugin’s homepage is here Google 404 SEO

  • Mike // Jan 9, 2008 at 1:17 am

    I like the concept but the 404 page on your site took an age to download. If I were a casual surfer I would have clicked away before the Google results were displayed.

    Have you found that time outs are an issue? I really like the idea behind it.

  • harena // Jan 17, 2008 at 12:52 am

    i dont understand, can you explain exactly pleasz

  • Mike // Jan 17, 2008 at 1:41 am

    Harena – Les instructions sont en haut. C’est une plaisanterie ;)

  • zobib // Jan 21, 2008 at 10:58 am

    je sais bien que c’est une plaisenterie, mais mon but c’est d’avoir les backl…………………. , merci mike

  • Mike // Jan 22, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    For those who don’t read French, what Zobib has just said is that they know it’s a joke but they just want the backlink.

    As far as comment spamming goes, you’ve got to hand it to them ;)

    Needless to say I’ve now removed the links and added them to the blacklist.

  • Cindy // Jan 23, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    That was a hoot! However, with a high speed connection, I reset my preferences to 30, and that pleases me greatly. Plus, I’m in the middle of those first page results :)

    Off to see what other gems of yours that I’ve been missing.

  • Mike // Jan 25, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    Hi Cindy – Welcome to Twenty Steps and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. If you find any of those gems, please feel free to let me know where I left them!

  • Greg // Feb 8, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    Hi I tried this and indeed it seemed to be a joke at first.

    However, I found out my company was not even listed in the first 10 pages.

    When I returned to the 10 results display, my company was listed as the second position (without even typing my company name) !!! I swear to god it worked!

    Thanks anyway for this hint!

    Greg

  • Mike // Feb 12, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Glad it worked out for you, Greg.

    That’ll be $5000, please :)

  • Daniel - Swaggerspot // Feb 22, 2008 at 9:00 am

    great site

  • John // Feb 24, 2008 at 10:24 am

    You’ll never guess how much I paid for this advice, last month….. GGgggrrrr I’m going to ask for my money back…

  • Peter // Feb 25, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    Man thats great , I tried it with my site lol

    thanks peter

  • why // Apr 14, 2008 at 12:13 am

    twat why waste ppls time

  • Mike // Apr 14, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Thanks for your insightful observations. Do come again.

  • Printing Australia // Apr 24, 2008 at 7:17 am

    Very Funny… I wonder if I can get listed on the front page of google for Printing Australia… I could be rich!

  • Mike // Apr 24, 2008 at 11:00 am

    Well you won’t do it by dropping your anchor text here. I’ve removed your URL and suggest you have a peek at the comment policy

  • Jeff // May 2, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    This is amazing. thanks for the trick. i am already seeing a huge surge in traffic from it!

  • Jacqui // Jun 5, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    I tired this and still can not find us with just using our business name…there are so many of Perfect Image Photography….we come up from places I have us listed but not a direct link to our site? Any tips?

  • Mike // Jun 10, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Have you ever ranked for that search phrase? Do any of your inbound links use that anchor text?

  • Webmaster // Jun 14, 2008 at 5:09 am

    Man,
    Thats a tip that every webmaster would love to do.
    Afterall, we all like to see our sites appearing on Page 1.

  • ijunk // Jun 25, 2008 at 3:19 am

    lol…..
    it’s fun….
    For me, it should be changed from 10 to 1000 (but nothing 1000, only up to 100)…
    lol…

  • Rey // Jun 28, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    Even as a joke, this is still a great tip … scrolling down a list of 50 or a 100 is so much easier than clicking (and scrolling down) through pages of 10.

    Plus, it’s always nice to be on the first page, however big that page may be! ;)

  • Bryan // Aug 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    HAHAA.. Yea that’s one way to do it for sure. I’m not sure if this qualifies as SEO though.

  • Maggie // Aug 7, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    Of course, another way is to set up a PPC account and voila! You’re instantly on first page Google – you don’t even have to change the preferences !!
    Another trick is to pick a search keyword or phrase that no other websites would optimise for such as ‘nummy seo snake oil’!! Optimise a webpage for this phrase and you’ll probably find yourself in position 1 on the first page of google!

  • kearl // Aug 15, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    Not many guys like you left….thankx

  • David Bennett // Dec 3, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Absolutely beautiful…

    Getting on the front page of Google results for a particular keyword or phrase is certainly doable (just look at the guys doing it), but the road there is difficult, all right. Those who travel it get where they want to go. Those who try to shortcut it… aren’t going to arrive there.

    Hint: not all directories are created equal in Google’s eyes. ;)

  • Mike // Dec 4, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    That’s true enough, David. Big G move the goalposts on a regular basis so ultimately it’s about making sure you cover the basics first and then ‘tweaking’ everything else. Directory submissions was once a good method of obtaining backlinks but it’s not as beneficial now.

    I’m not saying all directories are useless but the reward for your efforts has been greatly reduced.

  • James // Dec 5, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    Curses! Why didn’t I think of this? Very clever, though. Still, I did learn about the preferences link on Google. Never clicked it before.

  • Prashant // Dec 8, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    I tried it and it works!! yay… that was funny though, i am sure SE experts go nuts after reading this post.

  • The Baldchemist // Dec 11, 2008 at 1:28 pm

    You naughty boy. You had me fucked for about 20 minutes. Nice one though. Have a great New year.
    The Baldchemist

  • Zabimaru // Dec 12, 2008 at 2:44 am

    I stumbled upon this site and I don’t know what I think of the wonderful picture of the snake oil salesman. I mean, I really love the picture, but it really gave away that it was a joke before I even read the text.

    On the other hand… If I didn’t think it was a joke I wouldn’t even have read the text, so I guess it was all good :)

    Funny piece.

  • Vedetta // Dec 20, 2008 at 10:17 am

    This is the best SEO tip I’ve read so far. Genius!

  • Tudor // Dec 27, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Genious. Now there is a new method. Google now allows you set you own results and ranks. If you don’t like a website you can knock it off the rankings and climb your site to the tops. Yes, not you can rank nb 1 on any keyword. Of course you will be the only one to see it :)

  • Jack Leblond // Jan 2, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    Absolute GENIUS! I have a new arrow for my quill of SEO tools now.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

  • Alysson // Jan 2, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Now THAT is genius! Certainly good for an old fashioned belly laugh on a Friday afternoon. Well done!

    :)

  • Bitstar // Jan 4, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Leaving the jokes aside I do use this options when I try to find out where a website is ranked….it’s a lot faster then going page by page

  • Brandon // Jan 7, 2009 at 5:04 am

    The whole time I was reading this I was thinking of the article on google http://www.google.com/support/webmasters/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=35291. I am glad that it was just a joke. I am sick and tired of SEO companies making promises that they know that they can’t keep (or that require being unethical).

    Great post!

  • confused // Jan 21, 2009 at 6:45 am

    Ok soooo is this a joke or does it really work? I mean seriously, some people are acting like they saw the light and others are acting like they just got punked! I’m new to all this and really just trying to feel my way around so it this works some one please tell me, and if not….. I still wanna know that answer too!

  • Confused // Jan 21, 2009 at 6:49 am

    HAHAHA, LOL, LMAO, WTF, OMG, and anything else that signifies the FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!!!!I think whats more funny is my dumb asking was it real! That is sooooo funny!

  • JC // Jan 21, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Yeah I set search to 50 at a time and as long as you are not in supplemental, you can get first page for most except the most generic terms. Plus it’s healthier as it reduces the # of times you have to click.

  • Mike // Jan 21, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    Is it a joke or does it work?

    Answer to both questions is yes :D

  • william cote // Jan 23, 2009 at 4:22 am

    love you long time

  • Charles // Feb 1, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    Damn! I was leaning in, reading slowly and carefully…then I felt like an idiot.
    Good One.

  • arshad // Feb 3, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    wow..this is too cool.hee hee .

  • Dominic // Mar 12, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Sick!

    I was a genuine reader! lol

    I have a site that is on page 9of google for the phrase Free Poker Training Videos and I was getting all excited about trying to get it on the first page you git.

    Oh well back to the drawing board I guess.

  • Jim // Mar 26, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    Funny stuff, i was not expecting a miracle secrets to rank high on google as there is not real shortcut to SEO success, but it did not think you would come with something like that.
    Anyway thanks for making me smile.

  • siloway // Mar 27, 2009 at 10:11 am

    humm, can you tell me a way to set the default preferences on google from 10 to 100 result for everyone, then I’d be on the first page for the rest of the world too :-) . PS can anyone hack google for me ? I’ll buy you a pint :-)

  • Anon // Mar 31, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    You idiot. This only amends your settings for your Google, meaning only YOU see your site on the front page. Anybody else, i.e. a potential customer, would also have to do that in order to see your site on the front page!!!! FOOL!!

  • Mike // Apr 1, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    Guess you should have read it today, then. Might have made more sense :)

  • R Robinson // Apr 1, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    I thought no one knew the secret of getting on the first page of Google. Wow! That would be like having secret recipe for good chicken…11 herbs and whatever….

  • Lee // Apr 1, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    You sod! Is your next article…How to wind people up for 5 minutes??

  • Dollar Dude // Apr 24, 2009 at 11:01 am

    Wow… what a nice tip!!! I made all my sites in NO-1 position within few minutes. (lol). Anyhow, I like this posting…

  • User - ClickHereDummy // May 4, 2009 at 8:41 pm

    Yeah, I’ve be doing this for years. You’ve probably just cost me my beach house in the Bahamas.

  • Albert // May 23, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    That was an interesting funny post. I was positioned rank 1 as well. :)

  • greg // Jun 19, 2009 at 5:36 am

    damn, you had me going there for a while.

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