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How Firefox Improved My Sex Life 300%

March 1st, 2007 · 6 Comments

Ever since Microsoft released the new version of Internet Explorer, all I’ve read online are complaints that IE7 doesn’t work. The fact that a large percentage of my traffic comes from the article I wrote about troubleshooting IE7 bares this out.

Knowing that Microsoft would force me to use IE7 when I moved to Vista, I decided to install Firefox and it’s been the best decision of my life. In fact, installing Firefox has improved my sex life 300%!

Well firstly Firefox is less buggy than Internet Explorer. Pages seem to appear on my monitor almost before I’ve finished typing the URL whereas with IE, I found that pages would regularly crash before I’d even finished reading them. As a result, since switching to Firefox, I no longer suffer from premature evacuation.

Secondly, Firefox is known to protect me from viruses better than IE so therefore I feel much safer online knowing that there is no chance of me accidentally giving my partner any unwanted surprises. They know I’m clean right from the outset. Happy days!

Thirdly by allowing me to have tabbed browsing, I can keep my taskbar relatively clutter free so this makes me appear to be a lot tidier than I actually am. Women love tidy men. It’s a fact. If they turn up and find you’ve got crap and clutter all over the place, they’ll assume that you’re equally as messy in other areas. The fact that you’ve got 19 tabs open is irrelevant if, as far as they can see, there’s only one open.

Fourthly, pop up blocking. Let’s face it, boys, getting a pop up when you least expect it is not good, right? IE would make you jump through hoops to prevent this from happening but good ol’ Firefox just knows – it knows – that you don’t want involuntary pop ups. I only pop up when I want to.

Fifthly, image blocking. You don’t want to be seen looking at other images, right? That’s gonna get you into a whole heap of trouble. Firefox makes it so much easier to hide images so you don’t get caught out.

It also helps you get laid.

* Please note: This was a tongue in cheek response to a comment I left at Copyblogger and should not be taking seriously. However Firefox does, indeed, rock and is a gazillion times better than IE. Anyway, Firefox is…foxy 😀

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Tags: General

6 responses so far ↓

  • Brian Clark // Mar 1, 2007 at 9:48 pm

    Awesome post. Does keeping open multiple tabs at one time make me a tramp? 😉

  • Mike // Mar 1, 2007 at 9:56 pm

    Hi Brian,

    Thanks for stopping by and inspiring me to write the post in the first place 😀

    Multiple tabs are OK so long as all the tabs know that you are seeing other tabs at the same time.

    It’s also always good to keep some tabs in your little black book (Ctrl+D) just in case. I call these my tab buddies.

    Mike

  • Blog Bloke // Mar 24, 2007 at 7:49 pm

    Congrats Mikey. CopyBlogger is a reader. You’re moving up in the world.

    Personally I still prefer the Maxthon browser. Firefox feels clunky to me, albeit it is getting better.

  • Mike // Mar 25, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    Not tried Maxthon. Looking at the site, it says that uses the IE browser engine – have they updated it so that it replicates IE7?

  • mozzila firefox slo // Feb 22, 2008 at 12:38 am

    i havent encountered IE7 problems yet. its the browser we use at the office. but we use firefox at home…i still like firefox over IE. its got a lot of nifty plug ins. e.g. the firebug app is wonderful. =)

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